"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
01/22/2018 at 16:15 • Filed to: AN OPEN LETTER
5
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"Spanfeller is a twat" (theaspiringengineer)
01/22/2018 at 16:15 • Filed to: AN OPEN LETTER | 5
| 12 |
Hello, my has it been a long time since I last saw you, not that I’m any happy to see you anyway.
Jeep, isn’t it just great? So protective of me what with its great height and width, it kept you away, at a safe distance of about 100-130m from me. I felt safe with jeep, protected from the likes of you. Sadly me and jeep broke up, and now I have to be reminded that yes, you do still exist. My friends were right about you, you never let go: even in Sunday traffic is your shadow cast.
What is your disguise today? An angry cab driver? an inpatient Audi driver, or perhaps a bus behind schedule? I saw you hidden behind a black hummer, angry that I had grown powerful enough to outpace you, agile enough to defend myself from your recklessness, and savvy enough to let you go, something you could never do yourself.
I hope you stop, Tailgate, because I am very patient with you, but many people aren’t. At your wit’s end you will be the one paying the heavy price of the insurance deductible.
With hate,
Me.
E90M3
> Spanfeller is a twat
01/22/2018 at 16:25 |
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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
FIFY
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Spanfeller is a twat
> E90M3
01/22/2018 at 16:25 |
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funny. they do sometimes end up being dicks.
Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
> Spanfeller is a twat
01/22/2018 at 16:43 |
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Hmm, you can still see that Auidi’s headlights so there definitely can be worse. Love it when in my Miata a car could follow so close that I can’t even see the headlights anymore. That shit is nearly in my bumper at that point. I have been in cars with friends who drive like that too, that shit is ludicrously scary. I swear to not drive with those friends anymore lol.
jkm7680
> E90M3
01/22/2018 at 16:54 |
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That was me!
DipodomysDeserti
> E90M3
01/22/2018 at 17:02 |
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Says the guy with BMWs...
Klaus Schmoll
> Spanfeller is a twat
01/22/2018 at 17:18 |
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Why do people still credit BMW drivers with being the asshats, when they have long moved on to Audis?
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Spanfeller is a twat
> Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
01/22/2018 at 17:29 |
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I had double trouble on Sunday.
it’s the first time I drive a low slung car here in Mexico City and its super scary.
The hummer was following me so close I could only see the asshole’s grille , but I was boxed in on the freeway entrance and the car to my left activated the signal (it doesn’t mean “Precaution, I shall turn right” here it means “I am going to turn right into you unless you move your sad ass out of my fucking way”) so that driver cut me off, meaning I had to brake and the hummer had to slam on its brakes, probably thought I brake checked.
A few moments later traffic cleared up and it (hummer) cut me off my lane at about 50 and flipped me the finger.
I kept my distance until the restricted access highway really began and then I zoomed out of their fucking view in a very stoic manner because I was quite frankly scared of them.
Good advantage of the stinger: Tailgaters normally go fuck themselves afterwards when its safe to go quickly.
last time I had an issue as annoying as this it was actually my fault, I was doing 150km/h on my jeep in the fast lane when a Golf pulled out of the slow lane doing 70. I braked so hard a cloud of white smoke followed as the ABS struggled to keep the wheels moving and not locked. I was going way too quickly. Just to top it off the fucking asshole flipped me off and then stayed in the fast lane doing 85 with a 6 car queue.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> Klaus Schmoll
01/22/2018 at 17:32 |
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to missquote cage the elephant:
Asshats to my left
Asshats to my right
I’ve seen tailgaters all my life.
Oh sweet Audi why don’t you see me through?
Everywhere I look I catch a glimpse of your high beams
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Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
> Spanfeller is a twat
01/22/2018 at 17:33 |
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Ehh being in a smaller car never really feels all that intimidating on the road. I only ever feel frightened while being in a slower vehicle. As long as you have the power to weight ratio to get up and go, then nothing really is all that bad. Stupid drivers make me worried regardless of being in something small/low or being in a big truck. At least the Kia has some road presence and looks pretty sleek so its hard to miss it. I’m sure you get far more of the “feeling small” on your moped haha.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)
01/22/2018 at 17:43 |
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Well, its not a small car, its just that tailgaters here tend to be SUVs and trucks because they can fall into potholes without, you know, being broken.
but it is a very low car, so it is actually quite easy to miss, and people only think its a tuned optima (which is actually the look I went for given how unsafe it is to have a shouty car here). In all honesty I don’t think Audi drivers here are as awful as in the US or the EU: here in Mexico tailgaters are SUVs like the Jeep grand Cherokee and Porsche Cayenne, and cars like the 320i (its always a 3 20i ) and the vw Passat, specially the v6 versions.
Not wanting to make a stereotype but the people that buy Audi’s or BMWs here tend to be a bit risk adverse like myself, unless they have a giant 750i or an s8 and have a bodyguard car following them. Then they act like horrible people.
It’s a great perk that if someone messes with me I am basically faster than them all the time. unless an M car is messing with me no one with tailgating instincts has a car capable of going 270km/h, at least here. But for as good a perk as it is, its still not beaten by just being HUGE. In the end most traffic interactions here are a game of chicken and I see myself losing most of those in the future with this car.
Nick Has an Exocet
> Spanfeller is a twat
01/22/2018 at 18:08 |
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Fun story - the Chevy Bolt has one of those fancy videocamera rearview mirors. I know because it’s big and bright enough that you can see yourself tailgating. It’s useful because when I’m in the Miata and I’m behind a Bolt, I can that I still have an inch or two left.
To be fair though, I’m usually doing about 5mph because I’m stuck in Bay Area traffic. I usually don’t tailgate at real speeds.
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Spanfeller is a twat
> Nick Has an Exocet
01/22/2018 at 18:14 |
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Dont.
Fucking.
Tailgate.
Trust me that I have the urge to, like everyone else does, but its still unreasonable and has no positive end for any of the drivers involved.